Coffee and a Cigarette

Things are a’changin’.
April 6, 2011, 9:48 pm
Filed under: Stories, Things About Me, Uncategorized | Tags: , , ,

So being pregnant with twins thus far has been an adventure. Perhaps that is an understatement. So far I’m having to move somewhere I’ve never lived, change jobs, I almost died, and somehow my babies are still really healthy.

My husband, Daniel, and I are moving to Augusta so he can get a better job, and so I can be close to my family again so that they can help me with both of my babies. I don’t really mind moving, in fact I like to move. I don’t have any friends that live here, and I hate this place. It’s depressing, and ignorant. I don’t want my kids to grow up here. The schools here are so horrible that the high school students are automatically put in remedial courses when (“if “more like) they go to college. The kids out here get pregnant because they are bored. Teen pregnancy is a problem everywhere, but it is a social norm here. If my kid is going to get pregnant before she graduates it’s going to be because she made a stupid mistake, and not because she was so bored there was nothing better to do.

But my husband has friends here, and it took him awhile to get them, so he’s not so happy about leaving. And his family is already 2 hours away, now he is going to be about 8 hours from them. I don’t know… I really hope this works out for us.

Obviously, I will have to be changing jobs because of moving. And I’ll probably just transfer. Because I’ll be going on maternity leave in a few months anyways. I can’t get another job where I stand on my feet all day, and I can’t do fast food, it was too demanding on my body before I was pregnant. There is absolutely no way I would be able to work another fast food job now that I’m pregnant with twins.

So, I got this bladder infection, that I didn’t know about, because I had no symptoms. And then I started to feel sick. First, it was migraines, then it was fevers, then it was muscle soreness, and then some vomiting. I thought I had the flu. But after 3 days of fighting with a fever that wouldn’t break when I took medicine, and being in such immense pain I couldn’t move, I went to the ER.

I walk up to the sign in desk while my husband was trying to find parking, sign in and ask, “Does it help if I tell you I’m pregnant with twins?” the lady looked at my symptoms and said, “Yes, it does!” and I was talking to a triage nurse in less than 4 minutes. I thought my fever was like 100. It turns out I was going at 102.8 and rising. They take me back to an ER room, and they immediately put me on an IV with some saline solution. I went through 2 liters like it was nothing.

After they took my blood, gave me pain meds, and something for my fever, it was decided that they needed to see if my appendix was still alive. The surgeons said, “CT Scan!” my OB/GYN said, “ARE YOU INSANE?” So I got a MRI instead. But they couldn’t tell anything. Then one of the many OB/GYNs that came to see me during my 9 hour stay in the ER, decided to poke around my back.


It hurt so bad. I cried, and fell over. I wanted to punch him. I cried to him, “Why did you do that, don’t do it again!”

It turns out I had a severe kidney infection. I had to stay in the hospital for 2.5 days, and I was miserable. The surgeons still thought it was possible that my appendix was ruptured. I didn’t get to eat or drink anything until I’d been there for almost 12 hours. I was miserable. I was so thirsty. I cried tears of joy when they told me I could eat and drink.

The day I was released, the doctor on duty came in and told me that my infection had started to move into my lungs. Another day and the infection would have started destroying my bladder and my kidney, and I may not have come back from it.

But now I feel better than I did since before I got pregnant 14 days ago.

Well, goodbye for now.


Weird Things Creep Me Out

“It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems with just potatoes.”

Douglas Adams


I effin’ love potatoes!


By the way, I taught my little sister Algebra 2 using potatoes. It was a feat. She had already taken the class once. I succeeded not with books or computers, but with potatoes. I am a genius. Pretty pointless, I know, but I don’t want this blog to constantly be a source of misery and badness. I am using this blog as a sort of self-therapy tool, but I’m not a miserable person. Sometimes my posts will be dull, or funny, or make me seem like I have brain whimsy.

So usually when you say, “Weird things creep me out,” this is what you actually mean: “Those weird-ass spiders with the long legs creep me out.” Which they do creep me out by the way, but that’s besides the point.

When I say it, I mean things like when my husband touches my toenails, it really creeps me out. And he, of course, thinks it is hilarious. It also creeps me out when he blows on my arm (he sticks his mouth on my arms and just blows on it), but not when he does it anywhere else (except my toes).  Hand wounds creep me out. I seem to have inherited this trait from my father. I just cannot stand to see people’s hands get hurt. Even if it’s just paper cuts. Gaping chest wounds are cool though. Those are normal, right? I think crickets are horrifying, but grasshoppers are fine.

I know there are other things that creep me out, but I can’t recall any of them because I got distracted. My husband was playing with a laser pointer and the dog was trying to eat the laser. It’s the epitome of adorable.


In some other unrelated news, I went to a gun range yesterday. I was hanging out with my husband and his friends, and his manger. I shot his friend’s 9 mil. and was attacked by it’s bullet casings. When you fire the handgun, the casings are supposed to fly off to one of the sides. However, when I fired it (and I fired a whole 15 bullet clip) the casings flew back at me and went down my shirt.


This is what attacked me.

Now, once ejected from the gun, they are very hot. You should not touch them immediately after they’ve left the gun. So, I had hot casings jump down my shirt, get caught on my underthings, burn my hands while I’m trying to dig them out- ALL WHILE IN FRONT OF MEN. And men my husband works with no less. It was funny, for sure. But it also hurt like hell.

So much for being cool in front of the guys. That’s what always happens. I am the anti-cool, but not in any sort of cool ironic way. I am just not cool.

That is all, farewell for now!