Coffee and a Cigarette


I forgot to post yesterday
January 15, 2011, 11:19 pm
Filed under: Bad Days, Good Days | Tags: , , , ,

See, I failed already! Woo! I was sick and at work yesterday, so that’ll be my excuse. I also had to find painter’s tape and jury rig my computer’s charging chord because it won’t stay in the plug anymore. It just kind of falls out.

I finally got to leave the mountain. It was great.

Except the migraine and the fever. Oh well. And the drunk man demanding a refund we could not give him without getting written up or worse. He was horrible. Just awful.

I don’t really have much to say.

I’m watching Godzilla, that’s cool, right?

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Snow!

Perhaps I am a bear, or some hibernating animal underneath, for the instinct to be half asleep all winter is so strong in me.

Anne Morrow Lindbergh

 

I really, really don’t like the winter. I don’t like the cold, I don’t like the dark, and I don’t like feeling like crud all winter long because I forgot to bring my coat to work 2 weeks ago. I get all itchy, my skin dries up. For some reason I get a fever every other day, and my lips chap up like a mofo. Not to mention the cold sores I’m already plagued with. My body is like a battlefield and it’s losing the weather! DAMN YOU JANUARY! I can’t drive anywhere, because I live up on a mountain. And when it snows, or rains, it gets frozen, and we don’t have a road service in Rednecklandia. I drive a mid-late ’80s sports car that’s rear wheel drive. There’s no way I’m making it up or down this mountain.

Most of winter has lost it’s magic for me. I used to love the snow. I used to love the exhilaration of going outside when it was 20 degrees out in a tank top and shorts and run around in it. The burn in my lungs and the loss of feeling in my limbs. I don’t enjoy these things any more. I’m watching my childish pleasures slip away from me, and there’s nothing I can do about it. And frankly, it’s depressing as hell.

Snow. I still love snow, but I don’t get excited for it like I used to. When the forecast says, “Snow.” The first thoughts that run through my mind look something like this:

“How am I going to get to work? What if I can’t, can I afford to miss work? Do I have enough food? Will the power get knocked out? Will I get to play in it? Yay! Snow! Oh, shit, snow is cold. Why do I like it?!”

Being an adult is really knocking the fun out of a lot of the simpler pleasures in life. It is filled to brimming with worries and anxieties that are probably left alone. I can worry about all those things all I want, but if those things happen, they happen and there’s nothing I can do. Yet, still I worry. Adulthood sucks. In fact, you know what? I should be outside playing in the snow until my nose is running blood. But I’m comfortable here in my warmth.

I guess, this year, I’m not so excited by the snow because I’m holding a grudge against it. Yes, that’s right, a grudge against snow. The snow prevented me from seeing my family this year. They were at my house! And I was not. Snow on Christmas day effectively made it the worse Christmas I have ever experienced. Even worse than that Christmas my sister threw a dress up shoe at my head and made me bleed everywhere. I don’t usually have bad Christmas’s. I’ve had a fairly good and nurturing childhood. Even though my family has generally always lived under the poverty level, and I never really got cool toys for Christmas, I always understood what my parents were doing for me.

Maybe I’ll go outside here in the dark and make a snowman. But I probably won’t. Blasted cold.

Adrienne



That’s …. Better?
January 8, 2011, 10:46 am
Filed under: Good Days | Tags: , , , , , , ,

It’s just been revoked!”
“Ah, Peter, he didn’t really set you up for that Lethal Weapon line, it doesn’t really work here.”
“Oh. I’ll have what she’s having!
“That’s . . . better?”
-Family Guy- Lois Kills Stewie

Well, so far today has been better for me. I think. I’ve only been awake for an hour and a half though. But I’m hoping it stays this way. I don’t have anything to do today. If anything gets bad, I’m just going to go back today. I don’t have the energy to deal with stress, anxiety, worry, depression, anger, or mild annoyances today.

Surprisingly, last night at work was pretty good. I was looking for a fight though. On the way to work somebody tail-gated me all the way down my mountain. How I wish I could have kicked his truck driving ass. I actually don’t have a problem with truck drivers, I love trucks. I would, however, like to point out that driving a truck (of any sort) does not mean you own the damn road. It means you own a truck. You still have to follow the same laws I do. And I’m sorry that I won’t risk my driving record so you can get to the SAME place I’m going at the same time. My husband already has a billion speeding tickets going against us and our insurance.

Seriously, I live in a small town. There are two stop lights. And we all get stuck at them.

Oh did I mention I have a kitten? She’s adorable. She’s the product of my other cat’s supposed spaying. So . . . we got her spayed again. That was fun. Any ways, whenever I feel bad I just cuddle with my zoo of animals. I only have 4 now, and one lives in a tank (she’s a snake) so I don’t really cuddle with her. But my puppy and my kitties are cuddly. 🙂 Animals have a great talent for making me feel happy again. I think that’s why I keep them around. Like blonde-dog. She’s silly, destructive, and I’ve failed at potty-training her apparently. She’s so sweet, and fun to be around though.

Well, I have really run out of words to say. I didn’t really have a lot of words in the first place. I’m just bored, and I didn’t want to just sit here and stew, so I tried to do something constructive, since I’ve already cleaned.

Well, good bye.



Weird Things Creep Me Out

“It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems with just potatoes.”

Douglas Adams

 

I effin’ love potatoes!

 

By the way, I taught my little sister Algebra 2 using potatoes. It was a feat. She had already taken the class once. I succeeded not with books or computers, but with potatoes. I am a genius. Pretty pointless, I know, but I don’t want this blog to constantly be a source of misery and badness. I am using this blog as a sort of self-therapy tool, but I’m not a miserable person. Sometimes my posts will be dull, or funny, or make me seem like I have brain whimsy.

So usually when you say, “Weird things creep me out,” this is what you actually mean: “Those weird-ass spiders with the long legs creep me out.” Which they do creep me out by the way, but that’s besides the point.

When I say it, I mean things like when my husband touches my toenails, it really creeps me out. And he, of course, thinks it is hilarious. It also creeps me out when he blows on my arm (he sticks his mouth on my arms and just blows on it), but not when he does it anywhere else (except my toes).  Hand wounds creep me out. I seem to have inherited this trait from my father. I just cannot stand to see people’s hands get hurt. Even if it’s just paper cuts. Gaping chest wounds are cool though. Those are normal, right? I think crickets are horrifying, but grasshoppers are fine.

I know there are other things that creep me out, but I can’t recall any of them because I got distracted. My husband was playing with a laser pointer and the dog was trying to eat the laser. It’s the epitome of adorable.

 

In some other unrelated news, I went to a gun range yesterday. I was hanging out with my husband and his friends, and his manger. I shot his friend’s 9 mil. and was attacked by it’s bullet casings. When you fire the handgun, the casings are supposed to fly off to one of the sides. However, when I fired it (and I fired a whole 15 bullet clip) the casings flew back at me and went down my shirt.

 

This is what attacked me.

Now, once ejected from the gun, they are very hot. You should not touch them immediately after they’ve left the gun. So, I had hot casings jump down my shirt, get caught on my underthings, burn my hands while I’m trying to dig them out- ALL WHILE IN FRONT OF MEN. And men my husband works with no less. It was funny, for sure. But it also hurt like hell.

So much for being cool in front of the guys. That’s what always happens. I am the anti-cool, but not in any sort of cool ironic way. I am just not cool.

That is all, farewell for now!