Coffee and a Cigarette

Tá sé in aghaidh na seachtaine fada.

Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.

Helen Keller (1880-1968)

This week has been a long one, I say. Actually, since Christmas things have been taking a downward spiral. Our (my husband and I) finances are grim. Our only car, the one we have to share to get to work in the first place, is broken. So now neither of us can get to work. We didn’t make enough money in the first place to fix our car, but now we’re missing work and definitely can’t do so. Yay for catch 22s.

Oi, it makes me sick. I had a plan. We had a plan. I was out looking for better jobs. I was pounding out resumes and applications and phone calls like it was nobodies business. Now, if someone wants an interview, I have no way of getting there. It’s like I am destined to fail. I am so discouraged. I just want to cry.

But that really isn’t all. I didn’t get to see my family on Christmas because I got stuck out of town in the snow. My hours got cut again because the Christmas season died down, and now I’m just thinking, “What’s the point of even going to work now?”

Tuesday, during the day, everything was good. We got hubby’s phone fixed. I dropped some applications off in town. We had lunch at goddamn Hooter’s. We went home, I put in more resumes. Hubby goes to Wal-Mart to get us some food, comes back up the mountain, and then we don’t have a clutch any more. It just fucking went out. So hubby sits down to chill out and play some video games (this is late night.)

We wake up the next day, we didn’t set an alarm because hubby thought he didn’t have to work. One of his co-workers text messaged him to inform him that he had been suspended, even though they knew his car wasn’t working and he wouldn’t have been able to get there any ways. I was so pissed. I was ready to call his boss and lose my head on him. I had to put my phone down and walk away before I got fired. I had a rant ready and everything. Oh, how I can’t wait for him to quit! I will go in there and say so many things some of them might cry. How sweet it will be!

I try to keep language out of my posts, but honestly, I don’t even give a shit any more. I’m frustrated, and I will swear, sometimes, like a sailor. I am a Navy brat after all.

Well, now I’m done.

Maybe my next post will be happier. And maybe even sooner than the last.


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